








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 318 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 261 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2865 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,346 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2961 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2289 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3064 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2032 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $688,259 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 732 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dancermeister | 70% | 30 |
| #2 | Elias | 68% | 19 |
| #3 | rowen | 63% | 19 |
| #4 | kNi | 58% | 33 |
| #5 | McPassi | 57% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jascha | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Zer0 | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | -=DieteR=- | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | 1exn | 3 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | McPassi | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jascha | 774 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | -=DieteR=- | 562 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | Zer0 | 212 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | kNi | 165 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #5 | Elias | 123 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elias | +2.57 | 79 | 79 |
| #2 | 1exn | +2.23 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | h1r$ch | +1.62 | 72 | 60 |
| #4 | Zer0 | +0.47 | 74 | 61 |
| #5 | jascha | +0.39 | 81 | 54 |





