








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 757 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 79 matches | 2,099 | |
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2180 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,927 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1205 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1108 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1278 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1336 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $789,747 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 449 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurahousu_ | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | Dumezki | 64% | 44 |
| #3 | Alejandro | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | grilliporo | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Mizzu | 53% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | HEz | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | 𝕲𝖆𝖇𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖑 | 42% | 12 |
| #10 | seviB | 40% | 10 |
| #11 | KasinonKuningas | 40% | 20 |
| #12 | Raisssy | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mizzu | 42 | 0.0173 |
| #2 | Alejandro | 7 | 0.0221 |
| #3 | KasinonKuningas | 5 | 0.0113 |
| #4 | HEz | 4 | 0.0197 |
| #5 | SamSam | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NaystyX | +2.81 | 74 | 55 |
| #2 | Mizzu | +1.58 | 67 | 51 |
| #3 | seviB | +0.90 | 76 | 61 |
| #4 | Dumezki | +0.05 | 61 | 56 |
| #5 | Alejandro | -0.70 | 71 | 55 |





