








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 661 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 699 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4436 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,330 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 762 | 6% |
| Smokes | 4004 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3821 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3743 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,696,312 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | sLx | 44% | 61 |
| #7 | @meeehluis | 44% | 782 |
| #8 | SpeedyCore | 43% | 101 |
| #9 | $ho0t-Or-Ði€ | 39% | 233 |
| #10 | Shakalaka | 39% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | @meeehluis | 21 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | ItsMoo | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | LowKay™ | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | TrOxiiqz | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | $ho0t-Or-Ði€ | 4 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | @meeehluis | 916 | 0.06 | 19 min |
| #2 | ItsMoo | 469 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #3 | LowKay™ | 231 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | $ho0t-Or-Ði€ | 222 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Shakalaka | 181 | 0.05 | 4 min |





