










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1892 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 936 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8501 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,308 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4556 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7230 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 3183 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1339 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,986,325 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1396 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ItsMoo | 11 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | LowKay™ | 11 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | TrOxiiqz | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Jessi_Milka | 6 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | $ho0t-Or-Ði€ | 6 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ItsMoo | 644 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #2 | LowKay™ | 324 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | $ho0t-Or-Ði€ | 305 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #4 | Backmischung | 264 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | sLx | 234 | 0.11 | 5 min |





