








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 332 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




119 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1748 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,684 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2215 | 47% |
| Smokes | 272 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 976 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1221 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $886,533 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1253 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | santu :D | 45% | 40 |
| #7 | Evmorfia | 43% | 195 |
| #8 | Stel | 41% | 71 |
| #9 | Crashout | 36% | 47 |
| #10 | Sjefkeee | 36% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sjefkeee | 69 | 0.0326 |
| #2 | Evmorfia | 32 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | Crashout | 26 | 0.0303 |
| #4 | ismail1212 | 20 | 0.0200 |
| #5 | Stel | 17 | 0.0124 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stel | 610 | 0.44 | 16 min |
| #2 | Evmorfia | 326 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | Crashout | 175 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | Sjefkeee | 140 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | ismail1212 | 115 | 0.12 | 3 min |





