










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 342 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1852 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,169 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 714 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1241 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 185 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 1029 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $645,353 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | Blueberries | 61% | 72 |
| #3 | JAV THE JAV BREAKER | 59% | 105 |
| #4 | ᠨᠠᠫᠤ | 56% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | Blueberries | 61% | 72 |
| #3 | JAV THE JAV BREAKER | 59% | 105 |
| #4 | ᠨᠠᠫᠤ | 56% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᠨᠠᠫᠤ | 30 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | JAV THE JAV BREAKER | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Blueberries | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᠨᠠᠫᠤ | 404 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | JAV THE JAV BREAKER | 307 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Blueberries | 287 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | | 8 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ske | +2.39 | 69 | 48 |
| #2 | JAV THE JAV BREAKER | +2.06 | 59 | 59 |
| #3 | Blueberries | -0.28 | 50 | 64 |
| #4 | | -0.42 | 35 | 40 |
| #5 | ᠨᠠᠫᠤ | -2.06 | 32 | 66 |





