








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
923 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,625 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1774 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1735 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1249 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 867 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $523,192 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BAKA | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | ThiccWicc | 41% | 37 |
| #3 | Dre'teryx | 40% | 15 |
| #4 | irongecko | 37% | 63 |
| #5 | jk | 35% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ThiccWicc | 41% | 37 |
| #3 | Dre'teryx | 40% | 15 |
| #4 | irongecko | 37% | 63 |
| #5 | jk | 35% | 55 |
| #6 | DiddyDelinquent | 6% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jk | 6 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Dre'teryx | 4 | 0.0141 |
| #3 | ThiccWicc | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | irongecko | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | irongecko | 170 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | jk | 104 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Dre'teryx | 63 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #4 | ThiccWicc | 31 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | BAKA | 27 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jk | +5.53 | 72 | 55 |
| #2 | ThiccWicc | +2.07 | 63 | 39 |
| #3 | BAKA | +1.75 | 77 | 57 |
| #4 | Dre'teryx | +0.64 | 57 | 45 |
| #5 | irongecko | +0.10 | 49 | 58 |





