








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 170 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1861 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,561 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1569 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2400 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1907 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1685 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $788,463 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 263 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Tom | nomeuu | 49% | 134 |
| #5 | Kvickmort ツ | 48% | 111 |
| #6 | Barra | 46% | 48 |
| #7 | Dezz | 44% | 50 |
| #8 | KENDØ | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klay | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Barra | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom | nomeuu | 415 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | Kvickmort ツ | 310 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | Barra | 164 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mike | 98 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | KENDØ | 72 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dezz | +0.78 | 63 | 42 |
| #2 | RedCox | +0.58 | 73 | 56 |
| #3 | Kvickmort ツ | +0.04 | 62 | 66 |
| #4 | Tom | nomeuu | -0.17 | 56 | 72 |
| #5 | Mike | -0.36 | 42 | 50 |





