








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1377 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,131 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 836 | 27% |
| Smokes | 773 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 802 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 720 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $380,836 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 243 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NATHAN_terminator2014 | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | BANDO_onni_00300 | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | tohtori neXi | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | Kumisetä | 68% | 34 |
| #5 | Proto | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pikki | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Kumisetä | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | hehehaa | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | tohtoritarvonen | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | spypas3 | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tohtoritarvonen | 246 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | pikki | 123 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Kumisetä | 75 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | spypas3 | 63 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | hehehaa | 56 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paulin kelivideot | +3.48 | 81 | 55 |
| #2 | NATHAN_terminator2014 | +2.39 | 64 | 58 |
| #3 | tohtori neXi | +1.03 | 71 | 60 |
| #4 | BANDO_onni_00300 | +1.03 | 70 | 38 |
| #5 | Jagu | +0.87 | 58 | 51 |





