








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 186 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1865 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,494 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2097 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2507 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1068 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1822 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $467,444 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1ntz3 | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | Kw49 | 66% | 35 |
| #3 | General | 63% | 100 |
| #4 | wadiyatalkinabeet | 59% | 59 |
| #5 | Proxtor | 59% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Cooki3 | 56% | 43 |
| #9 | AkonOo | 55% | 20 |
| #10 | chipohippo | 49% | 37 |
| #11 | @TheNellyJ | 47% | 17 |
| #12 | lyons | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carter | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Cooki3 | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | General | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | wadiyatalkinabeet | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Lukoni7 | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lukoni7 | 286 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | Proxtor | 280 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | General | 240 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | Carter | 149 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | wadiyatalkinabeet | 141 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wadiyatalkinabeet | +2.27 | 80 | 70 |
| #2 | General | +1.46 | 93 | 75 |
| #3 | Proxtor | +1.29 | 79 | 66 |
| #4 | Lukoni7 | +0.99 | 80 | 70 |
| #5 | -Dinked | +0.71 | 91 | 54 |





