








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 642 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 93 matches | ||
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3921 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,457 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2602 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2395 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2410 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3050 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $625,406 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FrenzY | 62% | 39 |
| #2 | -Dinked | 56% | 43 |
| #3 | Carter | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | Choom | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | General | 53% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carter | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | MonkeyMcMonkey | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | -Dinked | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | General | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | FrenzY | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Dinked | 161 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Choom | 102 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | Carter | 90 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | MonkeyMcMonkey | 83 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | General | 72 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cooki3 | +3.58 | 92 | 62 |
| #2 | General | +2.16 | 94 | 71 |
| #3 | -Dinked | +0.26 | 90 | 58 |
| #4 | n0de | -0.35 | 65 | 55 |
| #5 | 5mok3yz_ | -0.54 | 68 | 51 |





