








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 525 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 103 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2368 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,724 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2001 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1595 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2492 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1636 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $948,868 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pelttari | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | Muki | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | EppU | 52% | 114 |
| #4 | AppU | 51% | 109 |
| #5 | Tussu (märkä) | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poi | 85 | 0.0322 |
| #2 | V | 18 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | AppU | 14 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | ♡Eedspeaks♡ | 14 | 0.0108 |
| #5 | jootugamer42 | 14 | 0.0136 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EppU | 533 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #2 | poi | 416 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | AppU | 298 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | jootugamer42 | 207 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | ♡Eedspeaks♡ | 199 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EppU | +2.58 | 37 | 63 |
| #2 | Pelttari | +1.95 | 57 | 45 |
| #3 | AppU | +1.61 | 52 | 62 |
| #4 | poi | +1.44 | 49 | 47 |
| #5 | Jupes | +0.30 | 60 | 60 |





