








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,864 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 323 | 17% |
| Smokes | 370 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 554 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 617 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $140,880 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blizz | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | Rattel | 76% | 17 |
| #3 | Tonya | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | saber2k | 66% | 35 |
| #5 | BabzUmU | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Steep | 55% | 22 |
| #8 | ThatPattyGuy | 45% | 20 |
| #9 | BubKay | 43% | 7 |
| #10 | Frog | 42% | 26 |
| #11 | SHAFT DOCTOR | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThatPattyGuy | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Rattel | 3 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Blizz | 3 | 0.0196 |
| #4 | Frog | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Tonya | 2 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saber2k | 127 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #2 | Steep | 84 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | SHAFT DOCTOR | 46 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | Blizz | 33 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | BabzUmU | 30 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blizz | +7.64 | 94 | 56 |
| #2 | Polar | +4.59 | 93 | 42 |
| #3 | Rattel | +4.04 | 93 | 56 |
| #4 | Steep | +1.96 | 75 | 57 |
| #5 | saber2k | +1.33 | 75 | 67 |





