








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 183 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2213 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,904 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1952 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2559 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1928 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2465 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $288,144 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Defy- | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | RasiR | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | 5000 rating destroyer | 58% | 64 |
| #4 | SKYTRiXSHA | 57% | 65 |
| #5 | TheBaldRat | 56% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Nosseemi | 42% | 12 |
| #9 | sMikezu | 38% | 26 |
| #10 | JykkeezZz | 36% | 11 |
| #11 | jore | 25% | 12 |
| #12 | Finlandi | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RasiR | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | 5000 rating destroyer | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | seve | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Finlandi | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5000 rating destroyer | 362 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #2 | sMikezu | 133 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | SKYTRiXSHA | 130 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | TheBaldRat | 73 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | seve | 68 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Defy- | +1.41 | 90 | 43 |
| #2 | SKYTRiXSHA | +0.90 | 74 | 62 |
| #3 | sMikezu | +0.52 | 79 | 74 |
| #4 | 5000 rating destroyer | +0.42 | 88 | 62 |
| #5 | GREG MORO | +0.41 | 87 | 64 |





