










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 526 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 371 matches | ||
| Faceit | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5251 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,000 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4286 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5383 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3984 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4347 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,701,710 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iceman | 66% | 53 |
| #2 | Say nothing | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | sokjin | 60% | 72 |
| #4 | ABSOLUTE COMEDY | 58% | 83 |
| #5 | dippa | 57% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Amateur | 54% | 236 |
| #10 | rEXY | 53% | 195 |
| #11 | Skandi | 52% | 285 |
| #12 | MTU | 52% | 85 |
| #13 | Senor Bin Ricken | 49% | 217 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MTU | 10 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Amateur | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Senor Bin Ricken | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Skandi | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | rEXY | 4 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amateur | 1178 | 0.24 | 36 min |
| #2 | Skandi | 972 | 0.16 | 28 min |
| #3 | rEXY | 419 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #4 | Senor Bin Ricken | 362 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #5 | dippa | 357 | 0.35 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ABSOLUTE COMEDY | +2.87 | 78 | 78 |
| #2 | druben | +2.30 | 70 | 79 |
| #3 | MTU | +1.79 | 82 | 66 |
| #4 | sokjin | +1.22 | 71 | 62 |
| #5 | Amateur | +0.97 | 55 | 78 |





