








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 200 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3372 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,377 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3914 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2099 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2151 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2213 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $634,352 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 531 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | st. killswitch | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | cruM | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | rEXY | 57% | 115 |
| #4 | Skandi | 53% | 86 |
| #5 | MeMph | 52% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | MeMph | 52% | 85 |
| #6 | Senor Bin Ricken | 51% | 79 |
| #7 | CyBeRStuD | 50% | 30 |
| #8 | Say nothing | 47% | 17 |
| #9 | Amateur | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skandi | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | rEXY | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | MeMph | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Senor Bin Ricken | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Amateur | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skandi | 309 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | rEXY | 230 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | Amateur | 183 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #4 | MeMph | 164 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Senor Bin Ricken | 115 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MTU | +2.22 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | cruM | +2.03 | 57 | 55 |
| #3 | CyBeRStuD | +0.97 | 83 | 73 |
| #4 | MeMph | +0.70 | 59 | 68 |
| #5 | Amateur | +0.48 | 54 | 76 |





