








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 645 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3388 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,800 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5504 | 40% |
| Smokes | 3967 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1177 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 3152 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $823,051 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 442 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Caho0r | 53% | 91 |
| #6 | Maitresse Zooma | 52% | 218 |
| #7 | Dks | 52% | 23 |
| #8 | He is my waifu | 50% | 18 |
| #9 | M4THIS. | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maitresse Zooma | 18 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Caho0r | 9 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | KraKraPouille | 6 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | Kyllian Mraté | 6 | 0.0148 |
| #5 | M4THIS. | 5 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maitresse Zooma | 1011 | 0.23 | 21 min |
| #2 | Caho0r | 251 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | loxy | 174 | 0.35 | 3 min |
| #4 | KraKraPouille | 129 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #5 | Kyllian Mraté | 97 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KraKraPouille | +6.57 | 92 | 80 |
| #2 | Kyllian Mraté | +1.58 | 72 | 60 |
| #3 | loxy | +1.27 | 73 | 59 |
| #4 | Caho0r | +0.73 | 88 | 60 |
| #5 | THs | +0.68 | 59 | 58 |





