








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 772 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5107 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,754 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6142 | 39% |
| Smokes | 4536 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1017 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 4059 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,203,083 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 581 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Caho0r | 61% | 115 |
| #2 | .Sephy | 61% | 38 |
| #3 | THs | 52% | 218 |
| #4 | loxy | 52% | 71 |
| #5 | Lil tino | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | .Sephy | 61% | 38 |
| #3 | THs | 52% | 218 |
| #4 | loxy | 52% | 71 |
| #5 | Lil tino | 48% | 29 |
| #6 | He is my waifu | 45% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THs | 20 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Caho0r | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | loxy | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | He is my waifu | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Lil tino | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THs | 1193 | 0.27 | 25 min |
| #2 | loxy | 493 | 0.33 | 11 min |
| #3 | Caho0r | 326 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | He is my waifu | 254 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #5 | .Sephy | 115 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Caho0r | +2.26 | 92 | 62 |
| #2 | Maitresse Zooma | +1.08 | 77 | 52 |
| #3 | THs | +0.97 | 61 | 59 |
| #4 | .Sephy | +0.76 | 75 | 61 |
| #5 | loxy | +0.59 | 68 | 65 |





