








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 252 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2282 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1096 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1058 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 3358 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 2184 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $585,109 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mateyes | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | CARBONE | 41% | 174 |
| #3 | Rucksack | 39% | 71 |
| #4 | Webstorm | 38% | 50 |
| #5 | Sylux | 37% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | CARBONE | 41% | 174 |
| #3 | Rucksack | 39% | 71 |
| #4 | Webstorm | 38% | 50 |
| #5 | Sylux | 37% | 38 |
| #6 | TardogLeVrai | 36% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CARBONE | 13 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Webstorm | 9 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | TardogLeVrai | 8 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Sylux | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Mateyes | 3 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CARBONE | 355 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Rucksack | 145 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | TardogLeVrai | 132 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mateyes | 54 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Webstorm | 12 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mateyes | +5.88 | 84 | 59 |
| #2 | CARBONE | +0.79 | 51 | 43 |
| #3 | Rucksack | -0.14 | 71 | 52 |
| #4 | LOVE 66 | -0.82 | 54 | 53 |
| #5 | TardogLeVrai | -1.66 | 39 | 40 |





