








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1173 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,176 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 792 | 19% |
| Smokes | 776 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1379 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1229 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $841,411 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eðalfáviti | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Alpha | 53% | 101 |
| #3 | Smoke | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | dadimarjons | 48% | 82 |
| #5 | Shego | 47% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alpha | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Shego | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | dadimarjons | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Eðalfáviti | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shego | 241 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | dadimarjons | 135 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Alpha | 127 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Smoke | 46 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Eðalfáviti | 11 | 0.04 | 0 min |





