








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1087 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 294 matches | ||
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4679 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,209 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5367 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5696 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5106 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5040 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,050,502 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 486 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arttu | 57% | 182 |
| #2 | SamSam55 | 54% | 57 |
| #3 | lehtine | 54% | 155 |
| #4 | Edzku | 53% | 238 |
| #5 | 100W Discoball | 52% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | πππππ! | 50% | 44 |
| #9 | Alvarh4 | 49% | 63 |
| #10 | copkillah | 45% | 78 |
| #11 | π1πππ | 42% | 88 |
| #12 | Kola Kalle | 33% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | copkillah | 12 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | βZailonBβ | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | π1πππ | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Kola Kalle | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Edzku | 4 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edzku | 1299 | 0.24 | 42 min |
| #2 | βZailonBβ | 543 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #3 | arttu | 233 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | π1πππ | 189 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | lehtine | 188 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arttu | +2.24 | 72 | 63 |
| #2 | 100W Discoball | +1.50 | 63 | 64 |
| #3 | π1πππ | +1.15 | 80 | 66 |
| #4 | Edzku | +0.67 | 58 | 68 |
| #5 | SamSam55 | +0.66 | 60 | 65 |





