








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 924 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 253 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2995 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,404 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1089 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2778 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2931 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3606 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,112,638 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | copkillah | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | π1πππ | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | himas? jussi | 57% | 182 |
| #4 | lehtine | 55% | 125 |
| #5 | βZailonBβ | 54% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | βZailonBβ | 54% | 130 |
| #6 | Edzku | 53% | 227 |
| #7 | Alvarh4 | 52% | 25 |
| #8 | SamSam55 | 51% | 43 |
| #9 | dasz | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edzku | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | lehtine | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | himas? jussi | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #4 | SamSam55 | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edzku | 1133 | 0.22 | 37 min |
| #2 | himas? jussi | 518 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | βZailonBβ | 334 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | lehtine | 151 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Alvarh4 | 74 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dasz | +2.11 | 74 | 71 |
| #2 | arttu | +1.99 | 72 | 61 |
| #3 | SamSam55 | +0.62 | 62 | 64 |
| #4 | Edzku | +0.37 | 58 | 70 |
| #5 | π1πππ | -0.29 | 72 | 65 |





