








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 439 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 325 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 176 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2626 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,463 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1485 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1370 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1219 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1389 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,528,636 of utility $286 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | zhark | 48% | 25 |
| #6 | crossheart | 47% | 339 |
| #7 | draf | 45% | 251 |
| #8 | EOL008 | 40% | 75 |
| #9 | blxty | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crossheart | 50 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | noxhy | 30 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | draf | 12 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | zhark | 4 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | vee | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crossheart | 1009 | 0.14 | 25 min |
| #2 | vee | 616 | 0.30 | 14 min |
| #3 | draf | 587 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #4 | noxhy | 194 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | chapter | 145 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zhark | +2.56 | 75 | 46 |
| #2 | vee | +1.63 | 40 | 71 |
| #3 | draf | +0.80 | 57 | 60 |
| #4 | crossheart | +0.18 | 39 | 71 |
| #5 | blxty | +0.14 | 81 | 43 |





