








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 815 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 999 matches | ||
| Wingman | 233 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




308 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9039 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,845 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12900 | 30% |
| Smokes | 10691 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 11473 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 7781 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,560,593 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3415 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rick Sanchez | 60% | 93 |
| #2 | swagboy2000 ⛟♿ | 51% | 68 |
| #3 | NoAvrgJoe | 49% | 327 |
| #4 | Auschwitz Jew | 44% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rick Sanchez | 60% | 93 |
| #2 | swagboy2000 ⛟♿ | 51% | 68 |
| #3 | NoAvrgJoe | 49% | 327 |
| #4 | Auschwitz Jew | 44% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Auschwitz Jew | 34 | 0.0190 |
| #2 | NoAvrgJoe | 22 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Rick Sanchez | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | swagboy2000 ⛟♿ | 4 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Auschwitz Jew | 488 | 0.27 | 11 min |
| #2 | NoAvrgJoe | 476 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | Rick Sanchez | 184 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | swagboy2000 ⛟♿ | 83 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rick Sanchez | +0.98 | 68 | 45 |
| #2 | M0rty | +0.81 | 33 | 58 |
| #3 | swagboy2000 ⛟♿ | +0.18 | 51 | 41 |
| #4 | Auschwitz Jew | -0.40 | 27 | 48 |
| #5 | NoAvrgJoe | -2.54 | 22 | 35 |





