








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 241 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
876 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 623 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 70 | 11% |
| Smokes | 78 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 167 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 308 | 49% |
Our logs show you have wasted $186,213 of utility $38 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 135 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EL Pentti♿ | 55% | 108 |
| #2 | Melvin | 54% | 124 |
| #3 | Kaviaari | 51% | 70 |
| #4 | REMOTE GOD SEEKER | 48% | 209 |
| #5 | Lilian | 47% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kaviaari | 51% | 70 |
| #4 | REMOTE GOD SEEKER | 48% | 209 |
| #5 | Lilian | 47% | 83 |
| #6 | pin$ki | 47% | 15 |
| #7 | Maidez | 40% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Melvin | 32 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | Maidez | 15 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | EL Pentti♿ | 14 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | REMOTE GOD SEEKER | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Kaviaari | 8 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EL Pentti♿ | 409 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | REMOTE GOD SEEKER | 356 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | Lilian | 238 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Maidez | 237 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Kaviaari | 210 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Melvin | +6.00 | 82 | 32 |
| #2 | EL Pentti♿ | +4.34 | 51 | 71 |
| #3 | Maidez | +1.28 | 65 | 61 |
| #4 | Lilian | +0.94 | 67 | 58 |
| #5 | Kaviaari | +0.32 | 47 | 56 |





