








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 512 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 281 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3799 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3610 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3155 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3288 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3015 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,048,349 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EL Pentti♿ | 51% | 203 |
| #2 | Melvin | 50% | 296 |
| #3 | Demonyx | 47% | 83 |
| #4 | Kaviaari | 44% | 113 |
| #5 | REMOTE GOD SEEKER | 42% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Demonyx | 47% | 83 |
| #4 | Kaviaari | 44% | 113 |
| #5 | REMOTE GOD SEEKER | 42% | 175 |
| #6 | Maidez | 41% | 283 |
| #7 | TheJoku | 40% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Melvin | 44 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Maidez | 22 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | EL Pentti♿ | 19 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Kaviaari | 12 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | REMOTE GOD SEEKER | 6 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EL Pentti♿ | 739 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | Maidez | 590 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #3 | REMOTE GOD SEEKER | 289 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | Kaviaari | 267 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | TheJoku | 197 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EL Pentti♿ | +2.27 | 52 | 71 |
| #2 | Melvin | +2.20 | 79 | 34 |
| #3 | Maidez | -0.34 | 62 | 59 |
| #4 | Kaviaari | -0.58 | 51 | 52 |
| #5 | TheJoku | -0.69 | 48 | 56 |





