








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1612 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 561 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




104 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7795 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,486 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1359 | 8% |
| Smokes | 4043 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6723 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 5361 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,657,230 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1308 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Demonyx | 54% | 124 |
| #2 | EL Pentti♿ | 54% | 304 |
| #3 | REMOTE GOD SEEKER | 53% | 320 |
| #4 | Kaviaari | 51% | 221 |
| #5 | Lilian | 50% | 296 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Kaviaari | 51% | 221 |
| #5 | Lilian | 50% | 296 |
| #6 | Maidez | 49% | 384 |
| #7 | kusti | 47% | 85 |
| #8 | TheJoku | 43% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EL Pentti♿ | 29 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Maidez | 27 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Lilian | 17 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Kaviaari | 17 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | REMOTE GOD SEEKER | 15 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EL Pentti♿ | 1141 | 0.18 | 30 min |
| #2 | Lilian | 900 | 0.15 | 24 min |
| #3 | Maidez | 801 | 0.10 | 22 min |
| #4 | Kaviaari | 554 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #5 | REMOTE GOD SEEKER | 511 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Melvin | +2.78 | 79 | 34 |
| #2 | EL Pentti♿ | +1.81 | 49 | 70 |
| #3 | kusti | +0.59 | 69 | 61 |
| #4 | Maidez | -0.41 | 61 | 61 |
| #5 | Kaviaari | -1.13 | 48 | 53 |





