








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 616 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2141 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,428 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1338 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1983 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2371 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1736 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,305,744 of utility $263 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 961 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parcc | 53% | 64 |
| #2 | Isshen | 53% | 145 |
| #3 | up | 53% | 132 |
| #4 | Remington James | 52% | 99 |
| #5 | Nubuddy | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parcc | 53% | 64 |
| #2 | Isshen | 53% | 145 |
| #3 | up | 53% | 132 |
| #4 | Remington James | 52% | 99 |
| #5 | Nubuddy | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Isshen | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | up | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Remington James | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Parcc | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Isshen | 274 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | up | 103 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | Remington James | 97 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Parcc | 66 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nubuddy | 9 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fiyn | +0.35 | 51 | 62 |
| #2 | Remington James | +0.22 | 57 | 57 |
| #3 | Isshen | +0.22 | 44 | 60 |
| #4 | Parcc | -0.08 | 65 | 66 |
| #5 | up | -0.54 | 50 | 44 |





