








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 599 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2448 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,028 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1523 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2135 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1663 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1707 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,130,559 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2512 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xanias | 51% | 37 |
| #2 | EckoMonkey | 48% | 154 |
| #3 | null | 47% | 76 |
| #4 | Aidan5000 | 45% | 60 |
| #5 | JokerCiti | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | EckoMonkey | 48% | 154 |
| #3 | null | 47% | 76 |
| #4 | Aidan5000 | 45% | 60 |
| #5 | JokerCiti | 38% | 37 |
| #6 | Wifftt | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EckoMonkey | 15 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Aidan5000 | 13 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | JokerCiti | 10 | 0.0137 |
| #4 | null | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Wifftt | 3 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EckoMonkey | 858 | 0.28 | 22 min |
| #2 | null | 80 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Xanias | 79 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Aidan5000 | 63 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | JokerCiti | 57 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wifftt | +2.89 | 84 | 45 |
| #2 | EckoMonkey | +1.78 | 54 | 70 |
| #3 | null | +0.81 | 44 | 45 |
| #4 | Aidan5000 | -0.91 | 61 | 29 |
| #5 | UNIQUEGAM3RTAG | -1.20 | 34 | 47 |





