








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 644 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3372 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,748 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3299 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2561 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3613 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2275 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,638,561 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4054 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chuckie cheeser | 59% | 54 |
| #2 | Abradolf Lincler | 58% | 50 |
| #3 | Snowpandy | 56% | 54 |
| #4 | TurboMurderer | 53% | 47 |
| #5 | EckoMonkey | 49% | 250 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EckoMonkey | 1461 | 0.30 | 37 min |
| #2 | Aidan5000 | 146 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | chuckie cheeser | 130 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Snowpandy | 126 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Xanias | 120 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chuckie cheeser | +5.26 | 85 | 56 |
| #2 | Abradolf Lincler | +2.73 | 65 | 49 |
| #3 | EckoMonkey | +1.79 | 56 | 72 |
| #4 | null | +1.10 | 47 | 53 |
| #5 | Aidan5000 | +1.02 | 69 | 36 |





