








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
151 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 197 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 59 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5 | 3% |
| HE Grenades | 104 | 53% |
| Molotovs | 29 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $72,773 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crafty_Stupot | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Pikachu | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | FedzorOfficial | 42% | 19 |
| #4 | matty | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | jambo | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | matty | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | jambo | 40% | 10 |
| #6 | White Fish | 31% | 16 |
| #7 | The Two. | 30% | 20 |
| #8 | alexbubu7 | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Two. | 3 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | jambo | 2 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | FedzorOfficial | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | White Fish | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | matty | 1 | 0.0111 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FedzorOfficial | 43 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | White Fish | 20 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | jambo | 12 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | The Two. | 10 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Crafty_Stupot | 10 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matty | +6.62 | 90 | 76 |
| #2 | Crafty_Stupot | +2.83 | 60 | 28 |
| #3 | jambo | +2.18 | 69 | 50 |
| #4 | alexbubu7 | +1.06 | 85 | 62 |
| #5 | Pikachu | -1.55 | 80 | 61 |





