








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Wingman | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1540 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,107 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2063 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2325 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1968 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1751 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,173,699 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 696 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | The Two. | 44% | 234 |
| #6 | TheZProject115 | 42% | 19 |
| #7 | matty | 42% | 67 |
| #8 | alexbubu7 | 37% | 54 |
| #9 | White Fish | 32% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jambo | 21 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | The Two. | 14 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | White Fish | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | alexbubu7 | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | TheZProject115 | 2 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matty | 231 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | jambo | 129 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | White Fish | 97 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | alexbubu7 | 84 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | The Two. | 83 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matty | +4.06 | 87 | 62 |
| #2 | jambo | +3.18 | 81 | 44 |
| #3 | alexbubu7 | +2.54 | 79 | 44 |
| #4 | Crafty_Stupot | +2.35 | 73 | 58 |
| #5 | White Fish | +1.30 | 46 | 49 |





