








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 483 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 111 matches | ||
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2452 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,106 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 705 | 17% |
| Smokes | 724 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1483 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1194 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $997,158 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1749 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pikachu | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Marvin | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | matty | 47% | 62 |
| #4 | FedzorOfficial | 44% | 181 |
| #5 | The Two. | 44% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | FedzorOfficial | 44% | 181 |
| #5 | The Two. | 44% | 181 |
| #6 | Crafty_Stupot | 43% | 21 |
| #7 | White Fish | 34% | 32 |
| #8 | alexbubu7 | 30% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FedzorOfficial | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | The Two. | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | alexbubu7 | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | White Fish | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | matty | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FedzorOfficial | 307 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | matty | 187 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | alexbubu7 | 61 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Pikachu | 49 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | The Two. | 44 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jambo | +3.06 | 81 | 42 |
| #2 | matty | +2.85 | 86 | 59 |
| #3 | Crafty_Stupot | +1.48 | 75 | 55 |
| #4 | alexbubu7 | +1.28 | 78 | 42 |
| #5 | Marvin | +0.95 | 88 | 72 |





