










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1505 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,096 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4940 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1888 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2283 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2985 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $872,754 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peppa | 86% | 22 |
| #2 | Wxx | 82% | 38 |
| #3 | sánto <3 | 81% | 21 |
| #4 | AumMaloDy2K | 81% | 26 |
| #5 | Anony | 81% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ヤマ <畑木山> ヤマ | 19 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | P.K | 17 | 0.0163 |
| #3 | DxYSMAR ✪ | 12 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Anony | 7 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA | 6 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DxYSMAR ✪ | 585 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #2 | estefano | 283 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | ヤマ <畑木山> ヤマ | 281 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA | 220 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | P.K | 207 | 0.20 | 5 min |





