








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 956 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 141 matches | ||
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2816 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,286 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 923 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1201 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1936 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1226 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $834,121 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 536 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jigsaw | 63% | 48 |
| #2 | Xe | 62% | 45 |
| #3 | Hiraata | 60% | 43 |
| #4 | proxy™ | 56% | 97 |
| #5 | Zokusha | 55% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Xe | 62% | 45 |
| #3 | Hiraata | 60% | 43 |
| #4 | proxy™ | 56% | 97 |
| #5 | Zokusha | 55% | 55 |
| #6 | Lucky Luke | 45% | 235 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucky Luke | 17 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | proxy™ | 15 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | Hiraata | 8 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | Zokusha | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Jigsaw | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucky Luke | 285 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | proxy™ | 244 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Hiraata | 119 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jigsaw | 73 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Zokusha | 60 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | proxy™ | +1.45 | 68 | 43 |
| #2 | Lucky Luke | +0.98 | 88 | 44 |
| #3 | ConTROLLER Gang | +0.75 | 86 | 40 |
| #4 | Zokusha | +0.59 | 52 | 40 |
| #5 | Jigsaw | -0.81 | 58 | 54 |





