








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 643 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 195 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3291 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,015 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1468 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1456 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3119 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1972 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,273,822 of utility $283 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 546 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oskoskosk | 72% | 43 |
| #2 | Turtle | 68% | 60 |
| #3 | Kat | 67% | 64 |
| #4 | | 67% | 93 |
| #5 | ConTROLLER Gang | 62% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Tragic | 57% | 46 |
| #10 | Zokusha | 56% | 59 |
| #11 | Jigsaw | 51% | 59 |
| #12 | Šakil oNil | 50% | 20 |
| #13 | eX | 50% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oskoskosk | 321 | 0.34 | 7 min |
| #2 | Pudsy | 161 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Kat | 134 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | | 108 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jigsaw | 90 | 0.07 | 2 min |





