








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 158 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3168 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,577 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3557 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1350 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 4068 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1602 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,149,878 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 361 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ℍ𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕙 ℂ𝕠𝕔𝕜 | 46% | 133 |
| #2 | 6Mill | 43% | 319 |
| #3 | Monkey King | 39% | 180 |
| #4 | k2cudi | 38% | 160 |
| #5 | FP | 37% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 6Mill | 44 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Monkey King | 23 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | k2cudi | 15 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | ℍ𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕙 ℂ𝕠𝕔𝕜 | 12 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Parks | 5 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carbonic | 687 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #2 | k2cudi | 536 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | 6Mill | 458 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | Monkey King | 423 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | ℍ𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕙 ℂ𝕠𝕔𝕜 | 341 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 6Mill | +3.84 | 74 | 50 |
| #2 | FP | +2.55 | 91 | 34 |
| #3 | ℍ𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕙 ℂ𝕠𝕔𝕜 | +2.09 | 78 | 61 |
| #4 | carbonic | +1.80 | 56 | 73 |
| #5 | Parks | +1.46 | 72 | 59 |





