








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,222 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2219 | 42% |
| Smokes | 904 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1278 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 821 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $383,352 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 6Mill | 40% | 156 |
| #2 | rhythm | 38% | 160 |
| #3 | Monkey King | 35% | 98 |
| #4 | ℍ𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕙 ℂ𝕠𝕔𝕜 | 31% | 13 |
| #5 | carbonic | 28% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rhythm | 353 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | 6Mill | 239 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | carbonic | 218 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #4 | Monkey King | 212 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | ℍ𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕙 ℂ𝕠𝕔𝕜 | 41 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 6Mill | +5.14 | 75 | 50 |
| #2 | carbonic | +3.57 | 56 | 74 |
| #3 | ℍ𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕙 ℂ𝕠𝕔𝕜 | +2.07 | 77 | 65 |
| #4 | rhythm | -1.05 | 67 | 44 |
| #5 | Monkey King | -2.29 | 45 | 40 |





