








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 435 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 259 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 56 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7203 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6498 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5584 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3076 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3232 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $681,274 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 285 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lukezzi | 63% | 63 |
| #2 | The Cock Heisen(vode)berg | 58% | 45 |
| #3 | βͺ Maakari | 57% | 318 |
| #4 | ππππ’ | 55% | 99 |
| #5 | Ucco | 54% | 263 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pk | +3.49 | 88 | 62 |
| #2 | βͺ Maakari | +2.41 | 51 | 77 |
| #3 | Hinaaja | +1.84 | 66 | 59 |
| #4 | ππππ’ | +1.09 | 54 | 49 |
| #5 | Ucco | -0.18 | 48 | 54 |





