








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1860 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 577 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 237 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 71 matches | ||
| Wingman | 70 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




199 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13473 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 50,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15190 | 30% |
| Smokes | 13222 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 12792 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 9372 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,332,495 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3880 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Hinaaja | 55% | 122 |
| #8 | ππππ’ | 53% | 230 |
| #9 | The Cock Heisen(vode)berg | 52% | 111 |
| #10 | Arduhh | 50% | 100 |
| #11 | ALLAHU AKBARβ | 50% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βͺ Maakari | +3.49 | 53 | 76 |
| #2 | pk | +3.13 | 88 | 63 |
| #3 | Hinaaja | +2.47 | 66 | 59 |
| #4 | ππππ’ | +1.60 | 58 | 53 |
| #5 | Ucco | +0.28 | 51 | 53 |





