








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 345 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2998 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2241 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2963 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2397 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2355 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,195,556 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 497 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peluri | 60% | 63 |
| #2 | toumai | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | Shmuel | 57% | 44 |
| #4 | franton | 56% | 195 |
| #5 | DisappointingCabbage | 56% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snadi2k | 33 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | Qibbah | 20 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | ✪ arti | 14 | 0.0116 |
| #4 | franton | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | DisappointingCabbage | 13 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rane | 841 | 0.18 | 25 min |
| #2 | Snadi2k | 561 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | franton | 361 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | Qibbah | 302 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | DisappointingCabbage | 260 | 0.08 | 7 min |





