








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2013 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,771 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2841 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2816 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1406 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2708 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $645,662 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrIDidYourMom:) | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | O'Chan | 68% | 25 |
| #3 | Tomtastic | 58% | 38 |
| #4 | Luke | 57% | 40 |
| #5 | sCoutMan | 55% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Ulick | 51% | 39 |
| #8 | TripleWhite | 49% | 49 |
| #9 | benjam1n | 42% | 12 |
| #10 | danzy | 40% | 15 |
| #11 | Fozzii | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tofi- | 9 | 0.0256 |
| #2 | Luke | 7 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | MrIDidYourMom:) | 5 | 0.0156 |
| #4 | sCoutMan | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | O'Chan | 2 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomtastic | 212 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #2 | Luke | 131 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ulick | 123 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | sCoutMan | 78 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | O'Chan | 70 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tofi- | +3.56 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | Tomtastic | +2.94 | 80 | 75 |
| #3 | MrIDidYourMom:) | +1.42 | 86 | 61 |
| #4 | Ulick | +1.12 | 79 | 61 |
| #5 | Cameron | +0.95 | 71 | 67 |





