








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1050 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Faceit | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3901 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2836 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3965 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2332 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2710 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,592,816 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A1rz ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | MrIDidYourMom:) | 79% | 19 |
| #3 | TripleWhite | 75% | 24 |
| #4 | sCoutMan | 74% | 23 |
| #5 | yer maws a bam | 74% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luke | 475 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | kamf | 218 | 0.34 | 6 min |
| #3 | Tomtastic | 217 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Thorin | 205 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ulick | 185 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomtastic | +3.20 | 85 | 74 |
| #2 | yer maws a bam | +3.07 | 87 | 66 |
| #3 | kyte | +2.29 | 57 | 73 |
| #4 | Cameron | +2.11 | 75 | 61 |
| #5 | O'Chan | +1.97 | 71 | 62 |





