








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 967 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 488 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5114 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,211 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4978 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5263 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3940 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3030 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,600,403 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 298 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ぽ | 57% | 42 |
| #2 | Kenja | 53% | 150 |
| #3 | Memories | 52% | 326 |
| #4 | Kentas | 50% | 161 |
| #5 | -Jordan- | 49% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Memories | 52% | 326 |
| #4 | Kentas | 50% | 161 |
| #5 | -Jordan- | 49% | 82 |
| #6 | nunenoriu | 46% | 35 |
| #7 | Zygis | 40% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Memories | 53 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Kentas | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Kenja | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Zygis | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | ぽ | 6 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Memories | 1936 | 0.28 | 50 min |
| #2 | Kenja | 517 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | Zygis | 184 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | -Jordan- | 159 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Kentas | 118 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rokelis | +1.04 | 69 | 55 |
| #2 | Kenja | +0.94 | 59 | 56 |
| #3 | Zygis | +0.01 | 42 | 71 |
| #4 | Memories | -0.02 | 70 | 67 |
| #5 | nunenoriu | -0.47 | 36 | 66 |





