








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 750 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,083 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3885 | 48% |
| Smokes | 882 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 1592 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1724 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $658,158 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 500 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | sh1tle | 38% | 29 |
| #9 | kirstine729 | 38% | 116 |
| #10 | Bjornbaek1103 | 29% | 17 |
| #11 | Bilbo Von Subwof | 29% | 28 |
| #12 | Dk_fisherdkTTV | 17% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HaRizz | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Bilbo Von Subwof | 6 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | Dk_fisherdkTTV | 5 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | sh1tle | 5 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | kirstine729 | 4 | 0.0018 |





