








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 640 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3911 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,895 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3704 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3358 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2705 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4128 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,305,693 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Specialist Boat$ & Hoes | 52% | 25 |
| #2 | Instinctss | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | H1PPX | 50% | 80 |
| #4 | boosboos | 48% | 61 |
| #5 | Giostin Gaethje | 47% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | H1PPX | 50% | 80 |
| #4 | boosboos | 48% | 61 |
| #5 | Giostin Gaethje | 47% | 102 |
| #6 | Granam | 46% | 93 |
| #7 | Jed Mosley | 45% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giostin Gaethje | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Jed Mosley | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Granam | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Specialist Boat$ & Hoes | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | H1PPX | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giostin Gaethje | 301 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Granam | 228 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | boosboos | 142 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jed Mosley | 120 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | H1PPX | 57 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giostin Gaethje | +2.10 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | Instinctss | +1.94 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | Lance Hardwood | +1.71 | 77 | 55 |
| #4 | Specialist Boat$ & Hoes | -0.24 | 48 | 52 |
| #5 | Granam | -0.54 | 48 | 59 |





