








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Wingman | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1237 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,220 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 672 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1587 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1093 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 868 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,147,528 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giostin Gaethje | 47% | 182 |
| #2 | Lance Hardwood | 45% | 110 |
| #3 | boosboos | 44% | 91 |
| #4 | Granam | 43% | 113 |
| #5 | Specialist Boat$ & Hoes | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giostin Gaethje | 47% | 182 |
| #2 | Lance Hardwood | 45% | 110 |
| #3 | boosboos | 44% | 91 |
| #4 | Granam | 43% | 113 |
| #5 | Specialist Boat$ & Hoes | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giostin Gaethje | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Lance Hardwood | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Granam | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Specialist Boat$ & Hoes | 3 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giostin Gaethje | 440 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | Lance Hardwood | 309 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Granam | 306 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | boosboos | 204 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Specialist Boat$ & Hoes | 36 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giostin Gaethje | +3.16 | 81 | 61 |
| #2 | Lance Hardwood | +1.64 | 77 | 48 |
| #3 | Granam | +0.59 | 54 | 58 |
| #4 | Specialist Boat$ & Hoes | +0.14 | 52 | 52 |
| #5 | boosboos | -0.61 | 75 | 54 |





