










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 378 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 368 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4828 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,349 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6524 | 36% |
| Smokes | 5600 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3907 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2318 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $835,582 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheVapeDeity | 52% | 373 |
| #2 | nOu | 52% | 77 |
| #3 | ✪ JG | 52% | 375 |
| #4 | Deputy Kaleigh | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | Meloni | 51% | 380 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | nOu | 52% | 77 |
| #3 | ✪ JG | 52% | 375 |
| #4 | Deputy Kaleigh | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | Meloni | 51% | 380 |
| #6 | Shitshot Sam | 47% | 243 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ JG | 33 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | TheVapeDeity | 30 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Meloni | 19 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Shitshot Sam | 15 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | nOu | 7 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shitshot Sam | 1194 | 0.24 | 29 min |
| #2 | TheVapeDeity | 820 | 0.11 | 21 min |
| #3 | Meloni | 735 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #4 | ✪ JG | 371 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #5 | nOu | 327 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ○ Am ₛᵧₙₜₕ Doge | +1.43 | 74 | 65 |
| #2 | ✪ JG | +0.96 | 71 | 39 |
| #3 | TheVapeDeity | +0.43 | 80 | 68 |
| #4 | nOu | -0.79 | 58 | 63 |
| #5 | Meloni | -0.82 | 82 | 48 |





