








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 212 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 237 matches | ||
| Wingman | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




83 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2832 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4195 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3196 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2011 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,400,097 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 278 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swipemethodman | 58% | 100 |
| #2 | УКРАИНА НАША | 53% | 190 |
| #3 | notcoolguy007 | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | john | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | Botres | 43% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | УКРАИНА НАША | 53% | 190 |
| #3 | notcoolguy007 | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | john | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | Botres | 43% | 116 |
| #6 | Василий Горгенов | 43% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | УКРАИНА НАША | 27 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | swipemethodman | 17 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Botres | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Василий Горгенов | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | УКРАИНА НАША | 438 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Botres | 354 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | swipemethodman | 189 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Василий Горгенов | 165 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | notcoolguy007 | 59 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | УКРАИНА НАША | +1.02 | 70 | 45 |
| #2 | Серёжа Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝ | +0.60 | 64 | 57 |
| #3 | swipemethodman | +0.42 | 67 | 45 |
| #4 | Botres | -0.03 | 61 | 70 |
| #5 | Василий Горгенов | -0.18 | 70 | 55 |





