








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
745 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,245 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 624 | 28% |
| Smokes | 711 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 373 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 537 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $138,929 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 喜び | 60% | 5 |
| #8 | Mr. Slippery | 60% | 10 |
| #9 | BaCchus | 58% | 12 |
| #10 | Lek Lek | 54% | 13 |
| #11 | mirageCS | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soyul | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | veronica | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | mirageCS | 1 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soyul | 205 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | veronica | 155 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #3 | angular | 56 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | BaCchus | 56 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lek Lek | 42 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | veronica | +3.90 | 87 | 62 |
| #2 | Soyul | +2.99 | 85 | 61 |
| #3 | Uhtred | +1.46 | 40 | 68 |
| #4 | ⍟quack | +1.30 | 76 | 61 |
| #5 | mirageCS | +0.07 | 93 | 52 |





